I Loved You Dangerously
by GoodForBad
Summary: A series of one-shots based within my "I'd Have You Stay" universe. "She hated the fact that her life had become such a cliché – that she could have fallen into something as angst-ridden as forbidden love – yet relished it all the same."
1. The Beginning

**A/N: Greetings, lovelies!**

 **The following one-shots are based in my "I'd Have You Stay" Universe, due to popular demand. My attempt here is to put them in a chronological order (more or less) and show snapshots of the more important aspects of Jimmy and Cindy's relationship – think of the moments that stick in your memory due to some aspect of importance. Honestly, I didn't think it would take this long to publish, but this has been the craziest year of my life. Luckily, this gives me more material for inspiration!**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

It was really freaking cold outside.

Cindy stood on the sidewalk outside of her house, watching as her breath became white clouds in the air, and shivered slightly. The fuzzy cardigan she had on probably hadn't been the best choice to ward off the cold, but who thought clearly this early in the morning? The sun had only just started to cut through the lingering darkness on the earth and she watched the sky changing colors. If she wasn't so on edge she might actually be able to enjoy this.

It was kind of amazing how utterly _quiet_ everything was while the world was still sleeping. She shivered again, wrapping her cardigan more tightly around her shoulders, and sighed softly. A moment later, the sound of quiet footsteps approaching brought a smile to her lips and she turned slowly, watching as his form became more distinct with each step. "Morning beautiful," he whispered, but the quiet made her hear him loud and clear.

"Morning," she smiled, holding her arms out for a hug. He indulged her, and placed a few kisses on the top of her head. "It's about time you showed up."

"It's just quarter to six _now._ Not my fault you're overly punctual."

"Not my fault you're always late." He pulled back and looked at her, the sight of his blue eyes shutting down her heart momentarily.

"If you don't watch it, I just might do something crazy like kiss you."

She raised her eyebrows. "Challenge accepted." His face broke into a smile and he laughed.

"Okay, come on. We'll save it for later. You wanna go to the lab?"

"Actually..." She found they were still embraced and did not want to release his steady flow of warmth. "I kind of wanted to walk into town. Grab a coffee. Just talk for a little." He made a humming sound in his throat, and the sound of it made her smile.

"That sounds great, but isn't it kind of...risky?" She looked at him again.

"Yeah, but...it's too early for me to care." She reached into her pocket and grabbed her debit card. "Plus, my treat. You'd be a fool to pass this up." He snorted and released her, but grabbed her other hand.

"Okay then. Onward, my lady." Hands entwined, they unknowingly both cast a quick glance at her house, then sped-walked down the street. She hated the fact that her life had become such a cliché – that she could have fallen into something as angst-ridden as forbidden love – yet relished it all the same. This boy, this crazy, brilliant, wonderful _boy_ was the answer to every one of her prayers. Sometimes she couldn't believe she could hold his hand or surprise him with a kiss just because she _could,_ or cry and have him hold her or just...talk with him, through the night, until sleep became far too tempting.

She just couldn't believe, sometimes, that he was actually hers.

She snapped out of her musings when his hand suddenly squeezed hers more tightly. She was struck once more when she noted his piercing gaze – God, his eyes were beautiful. "You okay?"

"I am now," she said. He smiled at her, but his eyes held an unknown emotion. She had a feeling it was reflected in her own gaze, and the sight of it was making her want to cry. She looked away, focusing instead on the sidewalk in front of her. Early mornings and late nights – these were the times their dates had to take place, in order to keep it hidden from her crazy-ass mother. Granted, they could spend time together at school but it was _school._ And every single time she was going out (even with someone like Libby) she had to report to her mother where she was going, who she was going with, and an estimated time of return. She was not permitted to be out past ten o'clock at night, and was required to send her mother text messages on what was going on throughout any social gathering. It was ridiculous and tiring, and a full-on demonstration on how little her mother trusted her.

Her father honestly didn't give two shits what she did, so it was an odd situation to be in, needless to say.

She and Jimmy had been dating for just under two months and she was so deeply grateful for his presence in her life that she often hated how sneaky they had to be. Her deepest desire was to scream from the rooftops how amazing he was, show him off to all her friends, proudly display the fact that he was _hers._

But she couldn't.

Literally no one but the two of them knew what had actually happened here. Their closest friends were two steps away from figuring it out, but they had no other choice but to keep it as hidden as possible. If her mother _ever_ caught wind of what was going on, she knew something awful would happen. She would be damned if she let Jimmy be caught in the crossfire of her family's rage.

She would protect what was hers.

And so this was her reality. Holding his hand, walking the near-empty streets in her pajamas on a Sunday morning. Operating on a limited time schedule, mentally counting down the seconds until her mother would get out of bed at 8:00 or so, like she did every day. Watching the frosted breath she pushed out of her lungs, listening to him absentmindedly humming to himself.

Out of context, this would seem like true bliss.

It didn't take long to arrive at the local coffee shop, and she gave her boyfriend a small smile as he opened the door for her. They were instantly met with the blast of freshly-ground coffee scents, and she allowed herself a moment of tranquility as they walked up to the counter.

* * *

"There is _no way_ genomics are going to reduce treatment costs. That's a fantasy at best."

"Oh, come on. Are you honestly going to tell me that the shift from a broad based system to a more individualized one would _increase_ costs?"

"Perfect example of 'it's one thing in theory and quite another in practice' concept." Jimmy shot her a smile. She stuck her tongue out at him and he nudged her playfully with his shoulder. She retaliated with a solid punch to his arm and he started laughing.

God, did she love that sound.

"There's no way to know unless we try it though," she muttered and he sighed.

"You're just going to keep pushing this, aren't you?"

"Only if you're going to keep insisting you're right." He stopped walking then and groaned, throwing his head back in dramatic flair.

"You should know by now how I operate." A smile was tugging at his perfect lips as he looked towards the heavens. She allowed herself a moment to appreciate this exact place in time, standing here with him in the early morning, arguing about something they shouldn't be.

And then she allowed her full anxiety to kick in, nervously glancing at her watch.

He noticed, of course. The two locked eyes and he made a face. "Time to sneak back in, huh?" She could only nod, feeling as if the words were lodged up in a tight ball in her throat. He tapped her lightly on the nose with his finger and smiled. "See you tonight?"

"Of course," she whispered. He sighed again, then pulled her in for a kiss. In those few seconds she tried to imagine what it would be like if she didn't have to hide someone so wonderful.

"Alright, get lost," he muttered, placing a final kiss on her cheek. "And don't be late."

"That's funny," she said, rolling her eyes. He clicked his tongue and winked at her, before turning and heading off towards his house. She watched his departing form for a moment, then began speed-walking back to her house.

She had only just laid her head back on her pillow when her door popped open and someone began shaking her none too gently.

"Get up, Cynthia. You cannot sleep all day. We've a busy day ahead of us." Cindy grimaced, faking a most convincing yawn.

"Okay," she muttered. When her mother pattered out of the room she flashed forward to tonight, sneaking out of her bedroom window to meet Jimmy at midnight in his lab.

Though her eyes shut once more in protest, she figured that sleep deprivation was the least of her worries anyway.


	2. The Plan

"We need a plan."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"That's what I said, yes."

"I'm being serious, Jimmy. If we're ever caught –"

"We won't be."

"If we _are,_ then I'll never be able to see you again –"

"You will."

"Stop it. Seriously."

"Genius, remember?" He tapped the side of his head and smirked. "Do you really think I can't stop us from being caught? And even if we are – which we _won't –_ I would fix it. The Hypno-Ray still works."

"Do you think for once you could snap out of your own self-focused brain and actually discuss this with me?" Cindy could feel the anger building in her blood and tried her hardest to stop it. His smirk faded as he looked at her and she sighed. "Jimmy, if my mother _ever_ finds out, she'll...she'll do something drastic. And believe it or not, I actually _like_ spending time with you."

"What about your dad?" The question caught her off guard and she could feel the spike in her heart rate.

"What about him?" she managed.

"I know your mom doesn't like me, but..." Something flashed in his eyes, only briefly, but it was enough. "What if your dad found out?"

"I doubt he would care," she said. They stared at each other for a moment. "He's not really...all that involved, in my life."

"He is in a way."

"I don't want to talk about this." They stared each other down and his eyes were blue fire, pulsing with an anger she knew wasn't directed at her.

"Fair enough," was all he said. She exhaled slowly and shoved a hand through her hair.

"Okay, so, here's what I'm thinking: if my mother ever happens to walk in on us when we're together, you'll need to leave. Immediately."

"What?" He frowned. "Why?"

"Because I will _not_ have a repeat incident of her attempting to manipulate you."

"But she didn't really. I know my reaction wasn't the best, but –"

"Do you remember what happened that day, Jimmy?" The serious tone of her voice gave him pause. "I asked you...to stay home. I told you that coming to my house with me would make it worse. But you didn't listen then, and you're not listening now. I know you want to support me, and believe me...I adore that about you. But this isn't up for debate. You've only seen the tip of the iceberg."

"Cindy, I -"

"Jimmy –"

"No, listen." He leaned forward and grabbed her hands in his. "I wasn't mad over the things she said. I wasn't. I just don't like situations being out of my control – you know that about me – and I was worried about you. _You,_ okay?"

"Yeah, well." She pulled her hands from his touch and leaned back in the chair she was sitting in. "I will not let her say such horrible things to you ever again."

"Even if she did I can _take_ it Cindy. Her opinion doesn't matter."

"I _know_ it doesn't, but you know what does?" She leaned in close. " _You._ You matter to me. And I can't handle hearing any of those things, especially things I've said, being repeated. I know you don't care, but I do. Hearing that hurts _me,_ Jimmy." Silence reigned for a few moments and his face softened.

"Okay," he murmured. He tugged gently on the end of her hair and swallowed. "Okay. If she catches us, I'll leave. If that's what you want."

"It is." She took a hold of his hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. "I've been dealing with her insanity for my entire life. Trust me, I can face whatever shit she wants to throw at me on my own." She stopped herself from verbalizing the single truth in this conversation:

 _If you didn't leave it would make everything worse for me._

Too hard to explain.

"Just know that you don't have to." He ran his fingers up and down her arm, almost reverently. "I'm...I'm always here for you. No matter what."

"I know you are." Something in his demeanor made her feel like she'd been punched, so she stood and sat down on his lap. "But just remember this conversation, okay?" He gave a weak smile.

"Eidetic memory, remember?"

"Right, genius, how could I forget?" She placed her forehead on his. "I love you."

"I love you too."

 _Just not enough to hurt you._


	3. I'm With You

A storm was blowing in from the north. The trees swayed with the gusts of the coming tempest, and Jimmy was standing outside in the yard watching the sky. He had always loved storms, not only for their fascinating scientific pull, but also in their unpredictability. A single factor could throw an entire weather pattern off its course. A drenching downpour could easily become a heat wave in the next state. It was all simply a matter of the right elements combining at the right time.

It started to rain and he smiled.

It was nearing six in the evening and he rocked on his heels, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He felt like he was waiting for something...he wasn't sure why, but storms always made him feel that way. Like something was coming, good or bad. It was nearly impossible to tell.

It took a moment for the approaching footsteps to register as such; the wind had increased in intensity and it was difficult to focus on anything but the tempest. He didn't turn around, but his smile grew a bit more. "Hi."

"She isn't coming." In a moment, the gusts ceased and he turned, his blood thick and icy in his veins. Sasha Vortex stood before him, leveling him with an empty stare. Her eyes looked dead, unfeeling. In her arms she carried a blanket, bundled into a tight wad. He barely noticed.

"Why are you here." It was a demand, not a question. She just...looked at him. Stared him down with those eyes, as shockingly green as Cindy's - nearly identical in fact. But they lacked her warmth, her care, the obvious love whenever she looked at him. It was like looking at a cheap copy, a half-assed attempt to emulate something that was uniquely _Cindy's._

"To give you this." She held out the blanket and he barked out a laugh.

"What, do you have her holed up somewhere in the house? Have you locked her in her room and thrown away the key? Get out of here before I call the cops."

"I think you'll want it." His heart lurched at the utter lack of... _anything_ in her voice. He swallowed.

"I don't want your garbage. Get off my property."

"Okay." She dropped it on the ground, but didn't move. Was she drugged or something? Something hardened in his chest.

"I'm not going to ask you again. Get. Out."

"It's really not important, _Jimmy._ " She spat out his name like a curse and her lips twisted into a cruel smile - the first sign of emotion since she'd appeared. "Go on then. Get mad. But you can't save her now."

"What?" The wind picked back up, bad tidings swirling in the gale. It was then he noticed, as the wind shifted the blanket's folds, a misplaced coloring on its stark white surface. He couldn't seem to stop himself from walking over to it, fingers trembling as he picked it up.

The blanket was stained with fresh drops of blood.

"What did you do?" he whispered. Sasha continued to stare at him, her smile widening, the wind tossing her hair around as if it were alive. "Oh my God - _what did you do to her?!_ "

"You can't save her, Jimmy! It's too late!" His body began to shake violently and he was thrown to the ground as the storm increased to tornado-like whirlwinds.

 _It's too late, Jimmy._

 _It's too late._

* * *

Jimmy awoke with a gasp, thrashing in the sheets. His heart was flying, fit to burst right out of his chest, and he found that tears were pouring down his cheeks. Without even thinking, he leaped from the bed covers and stumbled in the dark until he found his phone. His hands, just like in the dream, were shaking badly. He gulped, clutching at his chest, as he punched her number in and waited.

"Jimmy?" Her voice was a muffled whisper and heavy with sleep. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Oh Cindy," he breathed. "I just...I..." The throes of his nightmare were still clutching his panicked heart and he struggled to get his thoughts out. "I...needed to hear your voice. I just..."

"Hey...do you want to meet outside real quick? You sound...scared."

"Yeah." He nodded to no one and stole a furtive glance at his window. "I'm coming down right now."

"Okay. Bye." He moved confidently through the dark, pulling a jacket from the floor before heading out of his room. In less than a minute he was out the front door and walking towards the street, where he watched as Cindy came quietly out of her own house. The night was eerily well-lit, as a full moon shone its milky rays on the sleeping Retroville. As soon as she got close enough, he caught her up in his arms and breathed in her scent.

 _Too late my ass._

"Hey," she whispered into his ear. "Are you okay?"

"I..." He huffed, still unable to gather his frenzied thoughts. "No. I'm not. I had the freakiest dream about you."

"You did?" Her voice was small and he instinctively pulled her closer.

"Yeah. Your mom was there. She...she did something to you. I don't know what. She kept saying...that it was too late." She pulled back from him and stared at him, wide-eyed.

"What?"

"God, it was awful. I'm still willing my heart rate to calm down. She had hurt you somehow - something bad had happened. And she was telling me I was too late to help you."

"Did she have a blanket in her hands?" Jimmy froze and cocked his head.

"How did you know that...?"

"I had..." She waved her hands around. "I had a very similar dream the other night. Except I was me in the dream, and my mom accidentally killed me. She shoved me and I hit my head on a mirror on the wall. In the dream my ghost or something exited my body and I watched her yank a blanket off the back of the couch and mop up my blood. The last thing I remember before waking up is her leaving the house with the damn thing."

Jimmy blinked. It took him a moment before he could speak.

"How is that...possible? My dream picked up where yours left off?" She played with the zipper on his jacket and he looked at her. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought it would freak you out." A small smile was pulling at her lips and he frowned.

"I don't find this amusing. I don't believe in the supernatural, but this holds a rather foreboding feel."

"No it doesn't." She sighed and placed her hand on his cheek. "Don't you see, Jimmy? It just means we're connected. Operating on a similar wavelength."

"But how...? I don't even think I have the statistical odds on hand, because logically, this sort of circumstance doesn't register on a scientific plane. I don't often say this, but it seems impossible."

"Not everything can be explained in formulas and calculations, genius." She tapped the side of his head. "I love you, and you love me. Isn't that explanation enough?" The two locked eyes, and both seemed to simultaneously realize just how odd it was to be discussing love and the supernatural in the middle of the night, standing in the middle of the street. Jimmy's face broke out into a grin, and Cindy's expression quickly matched his own.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, Vortex...but I think you're right."

"Of course I'm right. This is _me_ we're talking about, after all." She bopped him on the nose and looked up at the sky. "Is it just me, or are you suddenly wide awake?"

"I don't think I'll sleep tonight. We should do something...crazy."

"Like what?" He leaned in and kissed her, soft and sweet on the mouth. In seconds it intensified - the two knew nothing else but each other, yet it was far from a lustful hunger. When they finally broke apart, he leaned his forehead against hers and smiled.

"Kissing in the street at two in the morning, for starters." She giggled, and the weight lifted from his chest.

"Well it's a good place to start. But I think it's time for an adventure." She grabbed his hand and began leading him down the street. "We're long overdue for one anyway."

At one point in time, this might have meant a battle with aliens or some half-planned trip into the future. Now though, the two teenagers found themselves spinning in circles as fast as they possibly could on the swings at the playground, playing tag in the school parking lot, and watching the sun come up on top of Jimmy's roof. They had no way of knowing what the future held...but for the time being, they were content to simply enjoy each other's company.

* * *

 **True story: Cindy's out of body experience dream was based on a dream my sister had. Where she was murdered. Hooray!**

 **I swear to God, Cindy and Jimmy really are my OTP. Hopefully I'm not the only one who sees them as a bit more mature than your average teenager, capable of a deep and long-lasting relationship.**

 **...anyway. Things are about to get interesting, I'll tell you what. So stay tuned! And review. Please.**

 **Also, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT I'M TOTALLY EXCITED TO SHARE: I have started writing another full-length Jimmy Neutron fic! I'm going to be publishing the first chapter within the next few weeks...details to come soon. :D**


	4. Ways To Go

**This one is dedicated to jcforever19. Just because she is the frickin' bomb, yo.**

* * *

Cindy tugged nervously at the end of her shirt, pulling the worn hem over her pencil skirt for the hundredth time that day. Butterflies erupted in her stomach and she swallowed thickly, casting a nervous glance at her mother who was touching up her makeup in the mirror in the hall. Though she looked prim and respectable in her new dress, she looked utterly worn down - shoulders slumped, dark circles under her eyes, shaking hands. She hadn't been sleeping, but Cindy didn't feel particularly bad for her. When her mother shot her a glance in the mirror, she quickly looked down and noted the time.

They really should be leaving soon.

She fidgeted, and smoothed her shirt down again.

"Stop that," Sasha snapped. Cindy jumped and looked at her, watching as her mother placed her lipstick back in her purse. "You're making me very uncomfortable, Cynthia. Stop fidgeting."

"What, I'm not allowed to be nervous?" Cindy stared her mother down, quietly fuming. "You do realize he is _my_ father, right?"

"And he is _my_ husband," Sasha said softly, though her tone was anything but kind. "It is our duty to maintain a wholesome appearance if we don't want him to go to jail. So please, act somewhat respectable and stop chewing on your nails like a fifth grader." Cindy huffed and looked away, hoping she didn't see the swell of tears in her eyes. This day had been a long time in coming, and she had no idea how she was _supposed_ to feel, much less act.

Assault charges in Texas were no small thing, and today was the day a judge would determine whether her father would receive jail time or not.

"Damn it," Sasha muttered, digging around in her purse. "I'm out of cigarettes." Cindy looked at her again, vowing silently to never put a cancer stick to her lips.

Without another word to each other, the Vortex women exited the house.

* * *

The court room was buzzing with the quiet hum of lawyers and nosy family members waiting to hear the fate of their own relatives. Cindy sat up straight beside her mother, watching the back of her father's head. He hadn't so much as glanced at them when they came in, and she could feel the tension coming off in waves from her mother. Sasha was positively rigid beside her, hands folded calmly in her lap. She was staring at the judge's empty chair down like it had personally offended her, and Cindy suddenly realized how much she didn't want to be here. She hadn't seen her father since...

"All rise," came the bailiff's bored voice. "The honorable Judge Smoots residing." She stood stiffly, wincing at a slight cramp in her leg. Sasha did not move from her seated position and Cindy nudged her with her foot.

"Mom," she hissed. Sasha jumped as if she'd been hit with an electric shock and stood, giving her daughter an icy glare.

"I'm exhausted, try to to show _some_ compassion," her mother spat. For the first time that day, Cindy felt nothing but resentment towards the woman who had given her life. She hoped her blank stare said so.

"Be seated," the judge said, and the entire room complied. The portly fellow slowly put on a pair of reading glasses and began to read the charges that had been filed against her father. It felt as if she had swallowed a burning lump of coal, and the gut-wrenching blaze only intensified as the words hit her.

"...serious bodily injury..."

"...recklessness, and assault by provocative contact..."

"...knowingly threatening Mr. Osage with imminent bodily injury..."

The words brought flashbacks of _that_ night and they hit like a crushing wave.

 _Do you want me to fucking hit you? Go back to bed. Don't...don't you fucking dare!_

Cindy closed her eyes.

"Mr. Vortex, how do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your honor," her father barked out. Cindy's heart lurched, even as her own fading bruises smarted beneath the cotton of her blouse.

Inexplicably, she lost interest. She became lost in her own frenzied thoughts, and it suddenly felt like Jimmy was beside her whispering in her ear. He had asked her so many times why she hadn't gone to the police over what her father had done to her, and now they were sitting in a court room because some random guy in a bar had decided to do what she'd never had the courage to. From what she could tell, her father had punched the guy in the face. That was it. She had justified what he had done to _her_ because it was an...accident.

Could it be she was in the wrong here?

She cast a sordid glance in her mother's direction, wondering if she was having the same thoughts. Her mouth was pursed in a tight scowl, but she seemed in a daze. She looked as if she was nervous, but whether it was over the possibility of her husband's incarceration or release remained an uncertainty. When Cindy closed her eyes again, she could still remember how it felt to crash into the floor as her mother screamed hysterically in the background. At the time her mother had seemed so...distraught. Yet the next day she had only added fuel to the fire, nearly destroying the one person who had shown her any sort of compassion. The thought made her heart quicken and she involuntarily inhaled a quick gasp of air. It suddenly felt wrong to be here, as if she supported either one of them. Her father was a drunk and her mother was a manipulative, cold woman who never should have been a mother. That much became obvious the day Cindy was told she had been "an unfortunate accident."

 _Oh my God, get a grip on yourself._ She shook her head and stared at the floor, intently studying the loose thread on her ballet flat. She thought she had been ready to face this, but the irony of being here in her father's (albeit) passive defense was proving too much. More than anything in that moment she wanted Jimmy with her, holding her hand and rubbing small circles into her back like he always did when she was upset. _Wow, when did you lose your sense of independence?_ Her own brain answered her question for her.

 _Ever since I found out someone cared._

* * *

Jimmy cast a nervous glance in Cindy's direction, where she sat in his swiveling computer chair down in the lab. She had seemed distant tonight, distracted, and he had the feeling it had less to do with the fact that it was midnight and more to do with her family situation.

"I can't stand my parents," Cindy suddenly said.

Definitely more than a hunch.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He leaned against his work desk, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd been tinkering with the blueprints for a new invention and slid his pencil behind his ear. She gave a slight shake of her head, lips tight.

"Yes and no." She swallowed and started picking away at a hangnail on her thumb. "I just...when we got...when we picked him up that night, she wouldn't even let him stay at the house. He's been in a motel this entire time, or staying with a friend. And then today...today after the sentencing, she just..." Cindy shrugged. "Welcomed him back with open arms. Like nothing ever happened."

"So...no jail time then." Jimmy tried to mask the disappointment in his voice.

"Nope." Cindy looked up at him then, her eyes watering. "Simple assault charge. Class C misdemeanor. He got off with a $500 fine because the guy he hit didn't have to go to the hospital. I just..." Her voice trailed off.

"Cindy." Jimmy walked over and knelt down onto the floor, grabbing her hands in his. "Look at me." She did. The brilliant green of her eyes shone in the semi-darkness of his lab and he suddenly found it difficult to hold back his own tears. "Your father deserved to go to jail for what he did. And I'm _not_ talking about the guy at the bar."

"Jimmy." Her voice cracked.

"I'm serious. Whenever I think about... _anyone_ laying a hand on your beautiful face, I just..." He ran a gentle hand across her cheek. "I worry about myself. I worry about the things I think about doing."

"You know you're the only one who cares?" She burst into tears, and it was in that moment his heart completely shattered. "M-my own mother doesn't...doesn't give a _damn_ that he hurt me, or hurt her, and I...I've been t-trying to keep it together, but now he's back in my house and I..." She shook her head furiously. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Oh Cindy." He stood, pulling her to her feet, and wrapped his arms around her. "I know, baby. I know."

"Why don't they care about me?" Her voice was a broken whisper in his ear, and he wished more than anything that he had an answer for her.

But he had nothing.

"They're unfit to be parents," he said into her hair. "They don't deserve you. Do you understand that? They don't deserve someone as brilliant and beautiful and kind as you as their daughter. What they do deserve is something I can't even say out loud. They're vile."

She whimpered into his chest. It dawned on him in that moment, in stunningly abysmal clarity, that he couldn't fix this. He couldn't make her laugh, or change the subject to make it better, or wipe away the desperate tears. All he could do was hold her. And that sort of hopelessness set a fire inside of him that scared him to his very core.

Which might explain what he ended up saying next.

"If he ever touches you again," he whispered. "I'll kill him."


	5. I Do Not Love You

**I feel the obnoxious need to reiterate once again that I see this universe as an AU. Just a side note.**

 **A BIG FREAKING THANK YOU to those who are reading/reviewing/following/favoriting. It does my heart good and inspires me to continue here. So thank you so very much, from the bottom of my fangirl heart. :3 Enjoy!**

* * *

The lights in the school's gym were somewhat dizzying, sparkling and flashing like someone had forgotten to turn them off. Jimmy stood leaning against the wall, absentmindedly pulling at his tie. His mind was elsewhere, not entirely focused on the writhing student body currently "getting turnt" on the dance floor. Today was important - historic even - and he couldn't seem to stop refilling his glass of punch and nervously wiping his palms on his pants.

Why could he not seem to exhale the breath from his lungs?

He had never been one to partake in high school trivialities, but this dance was one he was willing to make an exception for. Granted, neither he nor his partner was getting the _full_ experience - their circumstances did not allow for him to come pick her up, or even go out somewhere nice for dinner beforehand. Secrecy had long been their closest friend, but tonight that was going to change.

They had decided, mutually, that this dance would signify the publicity of their relationship - at least to their schoolmates. Now he was just waiting for her to show.

It didn't take long, of course. Cindy was always perfectly punctual, yet he somehow wasn't expecting it when she came through the door. He took one look at her and felt like he'd been punched. Her hair fell in beautiful curls, framing her face and courtesy of Libby, no doubt. Her sequined blue dress wrapped around her figure snugly, falling just above her knees. She was clutching a small purse tightly to her chest, and he knew her well enough to understand that she felt very uncomfortable. He smiled as he watched her looking for him, and made a few doomed efforts to swallow the lump in his throat.

Tonight did not only mark the change in their relationship status. It was also the night he was...going to tell her.

"Hey," he said as he made his way over. He doubted she could hear him over the sound of the God-awful music booming through the gymnasium, but her eyes brightened once she laid eyes on him.

"Hi," she said, holding out her arms. He wrapped her in a secure hug, inhaling the scent of her perfume. She pulled back only to place a gentle kiss on his lips and his heart fluttered insanely.

 _I do not love you for the way you kiss_

 _Though your lips, they can put me at ease_

"I've been here thirty seconds and I've already had it with this crappy music," she said. His hands still on her hips, he raised an eyebrow.

"You're going to tell me you don't think today's music is the epitome of the industry's evolution?"

"I will smack that smile right off your face," she replied with a glimmer in her eyes. Her own hands were still resting on his shoulders and to an outsider, it might look as if they were about to start dancing in the doorway. He swallowed thickly as he looked down at her, and it felt like something sharp and heavy was squeezing the life out of his heart.

"I think some people are already looking at us," he whispered. A few nosy onlookers were passing by and muttering nonsense under their breath, gawking like preschoolers.

"So?" she shrugged. "They were going to find out tonight anyway, right?"

"I guess a part of me thought most people had figured it out anyway." Their eyes met again and she smiled.

"They probably did," she whispered.

 _And I do not love you for your sweet green eyes_

 _Though I love when they're looking at me_

"Do you want to dance?" She straightened his tie and shrugged.

"Maybe once we get to a slow song. Not that I'm usually opposed to you grinding on me, but - "

"Okay okay, fair enough." He grabbed her hands and kissed them. "How about we go find Sheen and Libby? Start with them, and go from there?"

"Sounds good to me." He laced his fingers with hers and started making their way to the punch bowl where he'd seen their friends last.

"You look gorgeous tonight, by the way," he said, turning back to look at her just as the bass dropped.

"What?" she said.

"I said you look gorgeous!" he said, a little louder.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you!"

"I said, you look gorgeous tonight!" The moment he said it, she started laughing and pulled him in for another kiss.

"I heard you the first time, but it's nice to hear."

"You're a wily one, Vortex. I'm keeping an eye on you." Their noses touched and neither cared about the attention they were receiving. That is, until one voice in particular cut in.

"I _knew_ it. I freaking _knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT!_ " Libby stood before them in a dazzling purple gown, and her made-up eyes were blown wide in surprised glee. "I am _so_ getting a picture, and Sheen? You owe me twenty bucks."

"I think you've got that wrong, sweetheart." Sheen wrapped an arm around her waist and pointed at the two of them with a hand holding a glass of punch. "I always knew these two were up to something. You owe _me._ "

"Bull shit," she whispered, then extended her arms towards them. "Bring it in, you two. I'm so happy I could just die right now."

"You know Libs," Cindy said as the air was squeezed out of her lungs, "We never actually _said_ we were together..."

"Girl, I've been watching you since you came in the door. If you two aren't together then I'm the queen of Texas."

"We need to celebrate!" Sheen howled. "Where the hell is Carl? He needs to be in the picture." Cindy started laughing, and suddenly, to Jimmy, there was no one else in the gymnasium but her. She was...she was positively glowing.

He hadn't seen her this happy in weeks, and the relief he felt made him so giddy, he felt like he had to go sit down.

 _I do not love you for the way you dress,_

 _Though you do look so lovely tonight_

"Time for a toast!" Sheen and Carl brought over enough glasses of punch for everyone, and the group meandered towards the back doors of the gym. Upon exiting into the cool of the night, they all heaved a collective sigh. "Everyone...please join me in raising a glass..." Sheen's pinky hiked itself up and Libby giggled. "To our friends, the love-struck duo who have been fighting their true feelings since grade school. Or, as another way to put it, _it's about goddamned time._ "

"Sheen, for God's sake," Jimmy said, laughing, as Cindy's fingers intertwined with his. The rest of the group raised their glasses, and it felt almost like...he was from the outside looking in. Watching a moment that was nothing short of momentous, basking in the glow of love and friendship and some pure, pulsing joy he never thought he would be capable of feeling. Emotions clashed within and he sincerely hoped no one could see the film of tears that were suddenly in his eyes.

Nor the nervous gesture of him fingering the ring in his pocket.

"To love!" Libby bellowed.

"To friendship!" Sheen said, raising his glass.

Jimmy looked at Cindy, who was beaming.

"To us," he whispered. He grabbed the glass from Carl's outstretched arm. She squeezed his hand and sniffed, shaking her head as tears filled her eyes as well.

"Damn, where are these coming from?!" said she, awkwardly trying to wipe them away with her knuckle.

"To the best friends a guy could have," Carl said. Everyone tipped their glasses together and took a collective sip. Jimmy threw his own back, and nodded at the group.

"We shall convene later in the evening," he said. "As for now..." He began to lead Cindy back inside. "I promised my best girl a dance."

* * *

The slow dance was nothing short of cheesily romantic, with the soft glow of the lights and the volume turned down low. Jimmy held Cindy in his arms, as close to his body as possible. The night had been positively thrilling, as many of their classmates came up to congratulate them (though both were certain people had figured it out long before today). Sheen and Libby had declared them the best foursome in the school, and they had spent the night dancing insanely with their closest friends and taking a multitude of photographs. Even Carl had partied hard, taking part in an embarrassing dance-off with Nick Dean that ended in their favorite ginger breaking down in an asthmatic fit. Though the ordeal had tuckered him out and he had left early, the group as a whole had declared him the winner. Loud music, lots of dancing, and just a bit of spiked punch...for once, Jimmy felt that both he and Cindy could partake in something normal, _together._

Now, they both stood near the sidelines, content to hold each other. The night was definitely wearing down and he closed his eyes as he inhaled her scent once more. "Hey," he mumbled. "You ready to get out of here?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she muttered. He smiled and was just about to lead her off the floor when the opening chords to the next song started playing. Both froze and looked at each other, and a slow grin spread across Cindy's face.

"Maybe...maybe just one more dance?" she asked. He responded by pulling her onto the floor and into his arms once more, holding her close as the song - _their_ song - began to play.

 _I do not love you for the way you kiss_  
 _Though your lips, they can put me at ease_  
 _And I do not love you for your sweet green eyes_  
 _Though I love when they're looking at me_  
 _And I do not love you for the way your hands_  
 _Can touch me and quiet my soul_  
 _I love you for all of this and so much more_

 _I do not love you for the way you dress_  
 _Though you do look so lovely tonight_  
 _And I do not love you for the things you know_  
 _Though I've always admired your mind_  
 _And I do not love you for the way I feel_  
 _That first moment you walk through the door_  
 _I love you for all of this and so much more_

 _And all I know is you're the part of me that keeps me strong_  
 _And what I want is for us to face forever_  
 _Standing up together, eyes turned towards the heavens, arm in arm_

 _I do not love you for the way my heart_  
 _Seems to live somewhere inside your chest_  
 _And I do not love you for the way your arms_  
 _They can hold me until I forget_  
 _And I do not love you for the way you've been_  
 _Exactly what I'm looking for_  
 _I love you for all of this and so much more_

 _I love you for all of this and so much more_

"You know this was going through my head all night?" Jimmy whispered. Cindy pulled back to look at him.

"For real?"

"For real." His heart leaped into his throat as the song ended, and he couldn't stop the sudden increase in his heart rate. _Now is the time._ "I um...hey, can we uh, do you want to step outside for a minute?"

"Yeah. Sure." Leading her once more, he suddenly changed his mind and headed towards the main entrance into the gym. In moments the two found themselves in the parking lot, alone in the poorly-lit quiet. Jimmy exhaled through his nose and absentmindedly squeezed her hand. _It's just a token. A promise. Not a real engagement. Get a hold of yourself._

"Out of context, this would be hella creepy." Jimmy stopped by his parked car and smiled at her. Even in the moonlight, her skin was flushed from the heat of the dance and her eyes glowed with happiness.

"Even _in_ context, it's kind of creepy." He let go of her hand and made a face, lowering his voice. " _You've walked right into my trap..."_

"Oh, you should be so lucky." She made a karate chop and took a defensive pose. "Even in heels and a dress, I could still kick your ass." The utter mushiness of their dance moments previous had nearly completely dissipated, and he couldn't tell if he was relieved or disappointed they had fallen into their normal rapport.

"God, you saying that just makes me fall more and more in love with you." He stepped close and pressed his forehead to hers. She grinned up at him and pulled back to kiss him on the nose. "You were right though."

"About what?" She played with his tie and he placed his hand over hers.

"Being lucky. To have you." He pressed his lips to her hand in a gentle kiss. "I could give you the numeric breakdown, but suffice it to say I'm convinced I'm the luckiest guy in the universe."

"The whole universe huh?" she murmured. "That's pretty lucky then."

"You have no idea." Her lips pulled into a grateful smile, and he had no way of knowing she was thinking _Oh yes I do._ "Listen, Cindy..." He glanced briefly at the stars, suddenly unable to look her full in the eyes. "There's something I wanted...I wanted to tell you. I know we've known each other for forever, but I feel like there's so much more I'm going to learn about you. You're my best friend, you know. Don't tell Carl and Sheen." She barked out a laugh and he slowly slid his hand into his pocket. "I was thinking lately...maybe we're meant for more. Maybe we -"

His nervous tangent was cut off by the unwanted interruption of Cindy's cell phone going off. "Shit," she muttered, letting go of his hand. She dug around in her purse frantically, and his heart fell as he watched the expression that came over her face as she squinted at the caller ID. "Shit, it's my mom. I have to get this." He nodded briskly and took a step back for no apparent reason. "Hey mom." He could hear the snobbish tone of her mother as clear as day, and he wished he could shrink into the shadows to escape the horrid sound.

"I hope you're on your way home. You said you'd be back by 11:30."

"I said I would try to," Cindy grit out. She mouthed a "I'm so sorry" in Jimmy's direction and he hoped his shrug masked the sudden rage itching through his veins.

"Well trying isn't doing Cynthia. Your father is tired. We'd like to go to bed. It's time to say buh-bye to your little friends." Cindy's eyes met his own and she seemed to fold into herself. By her posture alone, he could tell she was incredibly embarrassed.

"Kay then. I'm on my way." When silence met her, she simply shut the phone and sighed. All the thrill of the evening had been ruined by a simple, patronizing phone call and it took everything within him to not let loose a string of choice profanities about her mother. "Jimmy. I'm so sorry. If I...if I didn't take the call she would freak. I'm sorry." She reached out and pulled at his tie again and he pretended not to notice the tears in her eyes. "What were you saying baby?" He knew her well enough to see she was mentally ticking down the minutes in her head that she had left with him. She was distracted. Worried.

The moment was gone.

"Just some more poetic ramblings of how perfect you are," he grinned. The smile felt strained and he sighed, giving up and pulling her into an embrace. "Can I at least drive you home? I can drop you off down the street. Unless the sea witch will be watching."

"I'd love it if you would." The ride back was spent in a terse silence, and Jimmy found himself cursing the powers that were that allowed this bull shit to keep happening. Stopping about five blocks from her house - just to be safe - he turned to offer a comforting word but instead found himself rather surprised as Cindy grabbed him and smashed her mouth to his own. This kiss was different, far different than the ones they usually shared...there was something desperate in it, something apologetic and demanding and passionate all at once.

Something...hungry.

When they finally separated, Jimmy was in a daze and Cindy looked pleased with herself. "Text me later, okay?" He could only nod, flushed as red as a tomato as she placed another kiss on his cheek. "Tonight was wonderful Jimmy. Don't you doubt that." He gave her a small grin as she exited the car, and he watched her retreating form with very mixed feelings. He found himself reaching into his pocket once more, twirling the ring he had made around his pinky finger as she disappeared into the darkness.

Another time then.

* * *

 **Sadly, the phone call scene here is based on true events.**

 **Jimmy and Cindy's song is "I Do Not Love You" by Ron Pope. Literally the MOMENT I heard it - over a year ago, mind you - I thought, "THIS. THIS IS THEIR SONG, NO DOUBT." If you don't believe me, just listen to it. You will cry real tears people.**

 **I'm sorry about the delay in this update! I got all caught up in adding to/polishing the existing chapters of my new fic... :D Hopefully this appeases those of you who are reading this?**

 **Please leave a review with your thoughts. We're headed into some drama! :D**


	6. The Fight - Part 1

**I don't know who you are, my anonymous reviewer, but please know that I adore the fact that you take the time to leave your thoughts on this story. Thank you. :)**

* * *

It's always the simple things that bring the biggest realizations.

Jimmy was nothing short of a...powerful personality. He exuded confidence and love. He was generally happy and seemingly care-free, wildly intelligent, beaming with pride and optimism. Considering all of that, it was pretty much impossible to _not_ fall for him. Sometimes she marveled at the fact that no one else had before her, at least to her knowledge.

She was proud to have him. She was proud to call him hers, and Libby would have smacked her upside the head if she ever dared to think otherwise. "He really freaking loves you," was the way her best friend of 17 years had so eloquently put it. And of course, she knew that too. It was the way he looked her. The way he smiled when she entered his lab. The way he kissed her when she wasn't expecting it, or sent her a text in the middle of the day that would say something like, "I can't wait to see you tonight" or "Hope your day is going great."

In essence, she had what every girl - or guy for that matter - dreamed of having.

She was positively bonkers over this guy.

It was always in her more quiet moments, however, that that understanding sent a pang of longing though her heart. Since they'd started this hidden charade nearing a year previous, she had always resented the fact that it had to be this way. She didn't _want_ to keep him a secret. She wanted to be able to bring him over to her house for the awkward "Come meet my parents" dinner. Or go out shopping with her mother and talk about how her latest _normal_ date with Jimmy had gone. Or brush off an off-the-wall comment her mother might make about them getting married in the future.

Not the furtive, terrifying moments where she had to sneak back into her own house after seeing her boyfriend.

He didn't seem to mind it. And she knew why. He had a driving desire to protect her, just like she did him. So in his head, even if he secretly didn't like it, she knew he was willing to lose sleep just to see her. It was a terrible, beautiful mess they were in no rush to get out of.

But there were always those moments that caught her off guard. When she would see him do something that made her heart swell with pride, and in the next moment she would be cursing herself over the unfairness of it all. Like when she took a rather nasty fall coming down into the lab one night and he panicked over her injuries mumbling, "It's my fault, I did it, I'm so sorry," as he bandaged her up. Or the time she was sick with a head cold and he had snuck into her room in the middle of the night to leave little candies on her pillow with a "These will make you feel much better" card.

And lo and behold, she'd been cured in less than an hour.

Right now, she was sitting down in the lab, and it was one of those simple things that brought the realizations in waves down upon her. She was sitting cross-legged on his ugly-ass couch, wrapped up in one of his hoodies (she loved the way they smelled), watching her boyfriend - her brilliant, amazing, kind-hearted boyfriend - desperately try to save a mouse that had scampered underneath one of his machines.

"Come on little guy. I won't hurt you. Come here." Jimmy was down on his knees, holding a peanut butter cracker in his hand, reaching beneath what looked like a gigantic computer screen. "Come on. You're going to get electrocuted if you try to chew through those wires. Come on buddy." He accentuated his statement with little kissy noises, and Cindy could no longer suppress the giggles that escaped. He looked over his shoulder at her, eyebrow raised, a smirk playing on his features.

"You think that's funny? Just wait til I show you my updated plans for a human-to-animal contact device. It will blow your mind."

"Jimmy," she laughed. She heaved herself off the couch and came to stand beside him. "You said we were going to watch a movie. Not hold a Mexican stand off with a mouse."

"But what if he gets stuck under there?" Jimmy placed the cracker down on the ground and looked up at her from his knees. "Goddard chased him under there. I feel at least partially responsible for Gus' well-being."

"Gus?" she blurted. "You _named_ it?"

"Yeah, like after the mouse in Cinderella? Gus-Gus? And you say _I'm_ clueless..."

"Jimmy," she said, leaning down and grabbing his face in her hands, "I positively adore you." She kissed him on the forehead and sauntered back to the couch. "I'll be waiting."

"I'll get him. Five minutes, tops." And so she sat, for another twenty minutes, watching and waiting for him to save a little mouse's life. The warmth faded from her chest as the time passed, and she found her smile getting smaller.

By God...the boy was something incredibly special. What in the hell was wrong with her mother that she wouldn't want her to be with him?

What was wrong with _her?_ Why was she allowing a light that bright to be smothered by her own fears and failures? How could she let this continue?

By the time Jimmy joined her on the couch with a triumphant, "He's outside with some sunflower seeds!" her mood had soured significantly. The dead silence that met him was the first indication and the smile faded from his own face.

"You okay?" he asked. Cindy was playing with the strings on his hoodie and he frowned. He poked her gently in the side. "Hey Cin, what's the matter?"

"I think I've changed my mind." Cindy looked at him dead on. "I want to tell my parents about us." Jimmy paused for a moment, then blurted,

"Cindy, we _can't."_

"Why not?" she cried. "Because I told you that we can't? Because _I'm_ too afraid?"

"Because of how this started." His jovial mood from earlier had been replaced by something far more serious and intense. "Cindy, if they find out...they're going to take you away from me."

 _"How,_ Jimmy." She couldn't suppress the sarcastic bite in her tone and his frown deepened. "What, are they going to uproot their own lives and move out of town? Lock me away in my room? What if my mom is only talk, Jimmy? What if she's full of shit?"

"It's not outside the realm of possibility," he said, placing a gentle hand on her arm. "But I'm not willing to take the risk."

"But what if I am?" They stared each other down for a moment, and she knew him well enough to see his stance was hardening.

Unfortunately, she was still Cindy Vortex...and she was always one to rise to the occasion.

"Jimmy, listen to me." She took his hand in her own. "I've given this a lot of thought. The only potential issue is my mother. But what can she do? Stop me from going to school? Stop me from sneaking out to see you?"

"Cindy..." He stared down at their clasped hands. "It's not that I'm under the impression your mother will hide you away from me. It's that..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm scared they'll hurt you again."

"Jimmy." The temperature in the room seemed to drop. "I told you that was just that one time."

"But was it?" Silence reigned and Cindy pulled her hand away, frowning.

"Why do you keep bringing that up? Do you not believe me?"

"It's not that I don't believe you." His eyes searched hers wildly. "It's just...statistically speaking, it doesn't seem plausible that your father's drinking patterns never resulted in domestic violence prior to -"

"So you _don't_ believe me." She stood up, arms crossing over her chest. "That's really low, Jimmy. Especially for you."

"Then just look me in the eyes and swear to me that it had never happened before that night, and that it hasn't happened since." Cindy's heart dropped into her stomach, and every single warm fuzzy feeling from earlier dissipated in an instant.

"You aren't being fair." She hated the way her voice shook as she said it. "I think we should drop this."

"That's what we always do," he said as he stood. "You always find a way to change the subject. But I don't like this, Cindy. I hate it, in fact. Do you have any idea what it was like when I saw you down in my yard that night?"

"I don't want to talk about this," she snapped.

"You never do," he said, voice gentle. He took a hesitant step towards her and halted. "Cindy please. I love you. You can tell me anything..."

"There's nothing to tell!" It suddenly felt like the walls were closing in around her, squeezing the life out of her lungs. Why was he doing this? Why _now?_

"Okay then." He held his hands up in surrender. "Then we can just drop it. We keep this a secret. Okay?" She couldn't explain the sudden burst of stubbornness, but the word left her mouth before she could stop herself.

"No."

" _Cindy._ "

"I wish you could just trust me on this." Her voice was a broken whisper, but his face crumpled into a frown.

"I do. You're the one who told me we needed to keep this on the down-low."

"Yeah, but I didn't think we would keep doing it forever. We've been together for almost a year, Jimmy. We're starting our senior year in the fall. Then we'll be leaving, for God's sake. How long do you want her to control me?" Jimmy seemed to perk up at her words, and she knew what was coming before he even said it.

"I can make something," he said. He turned around and headed to his work desk, rolling out a sheet of fresh paper. In a frenzy he began to sketch and speak at the same time. "I can create a temporary mind wipe device that will serve as our test run. You can tell your mom about us, and then when she inevitably freaks out, we can just point it at her and wipe the memory from -"

"Oh my God, _Jimmy._ " He froze and she stared hard at his back. "No, Jimmy. I don't want your gadgets to save me. I appreciate the thought, I really do. But at some point I need to face this like an adult. Preferably without the Neuralyzer from Men in Black."

"I want to help you, Cindy." His back was still turned, but he was tense. Obviously getting frustrated. It set her own nerves on edge and she grit her teeth.

"I don't need your help." He turned and gave her a sad expression, one that bordered on...pity?

"I think we should stop the conversation here. Let's pretend it never happened."

"I meant what I said though." She could feel the tears coming, and she silently cursed herself for her weakness. She didn't want to fight with him. She just needed his support.

"Cindy, please stop. I really don't want your mom to know about us, okay? Forgive me for saying so, but she's a damn sociopath. She clearly doesn't like me, and tried her hardest to keep me away from you. What makes you think telling her is a good idea?"

"What makes _you_ think wiping her mind is ethical?" Cindy cried. "Horrid as she may be, she's not your damn guinea pig, Jimmy. You can't just mess with people's brains like it's no big deal. Talk about a sociopath."

"I resent that." His voice took on a darker edge. "Everything I've done is to protect you."

"Maybe that's not what I want." She forced herself to keep the tears in. "Maybe I don't _want_ your protection." Silence crashed down like a smothering flood, and when he finally spoke, his voice was gruff.

"Well then," he said. He cleared his throat and turned away from her again. "I guess I've just been wasting my time."

"Wasting your time with me?" She knew that wasn't what he meant. But her chest was constricting again and the lump in her throat was making it hard to breathe, and suddenly the resounding hateful statement of _Look what you've done now_ echoed endlessly in her brain.

His silence stretched into an eternity and she bit her lip until it bled.

"It's getting late," she said, unable to bear the quiet any longer. She peeled his sweatshirt off slowly, choking on a sob as she folded it and placed it on the couch. "I'm going to go." She practically ran from the lab, up the elevator and into the cool night air where she let her tears stream freely.

He didn't stop her.


End file.
